Fran's Notes

Sooner or later, we're all going to face a problem. Most problems change your plans—that's why they're annoying. They make you do things you don't want to do or don't feel comfortable doing.

Here's the thing: problems don't care about you. They don't show up just for you. You were simply in the way. So there's no reason to take it personally.

That's why the sooner we start accepting the problem, the sooner we can fix it.

If a light bulb burns out, you just order a new one and replace it the next day. No drama.

But if the wind breaks your fence and you need to call someone to fix it and pay for it, it'll likely take you days or even a couple of weeks to blame the wind and curse your rusty fence before you actually ask for a quote.

Either way, it wasn't about you. You were just in the way of the problem.

Your urgency is your responsibility. Not someone else's.

Equally, someone else's urgency is not your responsibility.

Urgent matters pull you away from your focus, they become your priority, so by taking someone else's urgency you are taking away your own focus and replacing your priorities with someone else's.

Now, something smart is to align your priorities, I mean your urgency, with others. This could be your partner, your colleagues, your friends. But this alignment should be done consciously, not by taking away your focus and priorities.

However, there are times where you cannot simply align priorities or they are simply incompatible. Then it's time to make a choice.

Would you live according to your own urgency or someone else's?